Are My Kids Evil?


Dear Diary …

I had a ton of yard work to do this weekend … it’s just that time of year where all of a sudden you go from the brown, dead nothingness of winter to the lush greenery that is spring. And while the growing of new life is nice and all, it also means lots of yard work on the weekends.

So there I was … I’m talking all of it … mowing, weed whacking, fertilizing, bush trimming, pressure washing. You name it … I’m doing it. Eight hours straight.

Meanwhile my two kids are in the front yard. Sitting and waiting for the ice cream man. That’s it. Just having a nice, relaxing Sunday where not only do they have nothing to do, they will have dessert delivered directly to their face. They’re almost set up in a way where the ice cream man can drive by and throw ice cream into their mouths without even moving.

And Diary as you know … sitting around doing nothing builds up a mean hunger, so my son comes up to me and asks for a snack. Since I’m busy, and also covered in the mud and guts of a day of yard work, I ask my daughter to go in and get him a sneak.

“Ugh … but I just sat DOWN!!!”

[SILENCE]

Yeah I’m being quiet here on purpose.

Little bit more …

[SILENCE]

Child … have you seen me for the past 8 hours? You see what I’ve been doing, right? I’m like a one man lawn care company here. And you’re gonna tell me, “oh a I just sat down?”

Furthermore, “just sat down” is the EXACT time the two of you usually ask ME for snacks. So now you know how it feels!!!

Second … would go in there and get your brother a snack before I lose my mind!?!?!!

Diary … sometimes I just don’t know. Am I raising good kids?

They feel like good kids a lot of the time, but then other times … I don’t think they care one bit about any other person on earth. Unless that person has gum and they want a piece.

All they care about is their food and their iPad … specifically their YouTube channels. That’s all they wanna watch. They don’t care about anything else. They don’t use any of the games. They just wanna watch YouTube channels.

And not even MY YouTube channel, the one that would actually make Daddy money.

So really what I’m asking here … Is it a kid thing that they eventually grow out of? Or are my kids just evil?

Till next time Diary … I say goodbye.