Dear Diary …
We are all victims. Specifically at the hands of social media. I think we all pretty much agree … every evil social media website is basically tracking us, manipulating us, and basically figuring out ways to turn us all into mindless drooling drones who do whatever they say. Happy Tuesday!
And I realize … we’re probably powerless against our Facebook overlords, so I’m just gonna close my eyes and try to enjoy the ride, but why do they have to throw in the little things as well? Isn’t the overall control of our brains enough? Why do they have to hit us with tiny little gut punches too like the “Auto-Refresh Screwgee?”
You know what I’m talking about … when you’re just minding your business and trying to snoop on people on Instagram. You open up your app … see a picture that catches your eye … and before you can fully soak it in it … POOF! Auto-refresh takes it away into the abyss of God knows where.
No! Wait … wha- … where did it go? And you didn’t even get a close enough look at it to remember who was posting it, or even entirely what the picture was, but your brain knew enough that it wanted to see more. And now it’s gone.
And there is NO way this is by accident. The overlords want you to go into mind melting mode and … “Must … scroll … find … photo …” Now they got ya … for probably as long as they want while your drooling brain tries to find the long lost bikini picture you thought you say 10 seconds ago. Yup … they got us on pretty much any level they want.
Moving on Diary … speaking of the overlords controlling our every move and behavior … the other group of evil geniuses who do this are … the children. I don’t know how they’ve figured out how to game the system so well, but they totally have. They call all the shots and basically do whatever they want.
I don’t know about your kids, Diary, but mine are totally obsessed with “new” things. Specifically snacks. This is how I end up with two open boxes of Cheezits in the pantry. Same flavor, but one was “new” so it just HAD to be opened! And they totally know how to play dumb when you confront them.
This weekend we were in charge of snacks after soccer. (And don’t even get me started on “snacks” on how ridiculous it is that our kids basically expect a snack reward every single time they go outside and run around for 5 minutes.) But anyway … one of the snacks we did were those little mini containers of Pringles. And at the end of the game, we had a few left over. OK cool … we can totally use these for lunches this week … super easy to just stick in their bag and send them on their way.
OK kids … these will be for lunches this week … OK?
Fast forward to 30 minutes later and I look over and my daughter has one of the travel containers open and she’s just snacking’ away. Plenty of other open Pringles in the house, but of course she has to go for the “new” one that I told her not to eat.
What are you doing? I told you not to eat those!
“Oh … I forgot.”
Oh and that is such a pile of bullpucky. Kids always seem to “forget” when it’s convenient for them. If I told me daughter … “remind me in 87 days to take you to the store to buy a toy,” I guarantee you she’d remember. So she can certainly remember to not eat a container of Pringles a half hour after I tell her not to.
Ugh … the Sarcastic Sorry. I hate that thing. And every kid does it. And they all think it counts as a suitable sorry (which it does NOT!).
“I said I was sorry!”
No you didn’t, you said some whiny, nasally little word that you didn’t even mean. If I’m at work, and I screw up, and my boss calls me out on it, you think “Sorry!” Is going to make him feel better about the whole thing? I doubt it!
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye