These Things Should Be Better


Dear Diary …

There are times where I think to myself, “Man … we’re pretty smart and we’ve developed and invented some really amazing things.”

This is not one of those times.

This is one of times where I think, “Why are we so stupid? And why do things stink that totally don’t have to?”

You know where my Christmas tree is right now? The dump.

And not because it was a real tree and it was time to throw it out, it’s because it was a fake tree that was a cheap piece of crap and is already taking up space in a landfill and probably causing some sort of damage to our children’s children’s children or whatever.

And why?

Because after two Christmases, the lights are dead in three different spots.

And when I say “dead,” I’m sure it’s probably just one or two little lights that need to be replaced, but here we are in 2018 and these stupid Christmas tree lights still ALL go out when one light don’t work.

Who in the heck designed these things? And why did we let them get away with it?

Can you imagine if that’s how the lights worked in your house … One lamp in the living room needs a new light bulb and now every light in the house is off?

There’s no reason why this needs to be this way. Or here’s another one … Why does the ice maker in your freezer still take 24 to 48 hours to fill a bucket of ice?

Two days. TWO DAYS!!! Just to make ice cubes? We’re OK with this?

You hear that dumb little trickle of water … then feels like an eternity later … [[[GARUMP-GONK]]] … Four stupid little ice cubes fall into the bucket. Who designed this … a turtle?

And finally … Why can’t Facebook filter out spoilers better?

No matter how hard you try to avoid, some dingleberry will eventually spoil “Walking Dead” for you whether you like it or not.

Why can’t I just click a “no spoilers” button and happily go about my day free of having anything ruined for me?

“Oh that would be too hard for our computers to figure that out.”

Oh whatever … your computers have no problem filtering IN every sad sack post about death, complaining, and destruction. Clearly there’s a way to filter other stuff out.

That was my news feed yesterday. First three posts … stomach bug, dead Grandma, and cancer. Thanks Facebook!

It’s 2018, none of these things should stink as much as they do. We’ve got plenty of scientists sitting around, wasting time doing nothing on silly studies. Fix these things instead!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.