You Don’t Have to Stink

Dear Diary …

I’m over it. Some things straight up stink, and there’s no reason for them to be as lousy as they are. Hey I get it with certain things … homework stinks, paying taxes, diarrhea. There’s no controlling any of those things, but there are plenty of other things that don’t HAVE to stink, but they totally do.

I went to a couple concerts over the weekend and I am sick and tired of paying a ton of money for lousy food and drinks when I’m there.

First of all … I am well aware that I am a captive audience and you’re gonna be able to charge a bunch of money. OK fine, but why does it also have to be terrible? I’ll pay $9 for a glass of wine, but it shouldn’t be $9 for a glass of crummy Barefoot wine that costs the venue like $3 a bottle.

Oh and did you want a cocktail? Good news, it’s gonna be $11, we’re gonna use low grade alcohol and we’re going to put it in a sucky little plastic cup with thin little ice cubes that melt in two seconds and make your drink a lukewarm watery mess. Oh and you wanted a lime with that? Nah. Go bleep yourself. We didn’t feel like offering those.

Enjoy your lousy drinks … and don’t forget to tip in my little tip jar!

Oh and here’s your insult to injury … On night number two, I get up to the bar, order a drink, and the woman says, “Umm … You have to also buy a bracelet for $2 so you’re able to buy drinks.”

Wait … what?

I have to pay you for the privilege of giving you money? What the heck is going on here?

Yeah … remember that tip you wanted? I’m wearing it now with your blood money bracelet.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

For a concert or sporting event or whatever, you’re already spending fifty to a hundred bucks just to get in the door, so why the desire to then bend you over and take the rest of the money out of your wallet?

I don’t mind paying the premium, but if I am, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to get a halfway decent product.

Nah … forget them. Let’s charge ‘em $30 for some Tyson chicken tenders and a poorly made cocktail.

And you wonder why people don’t buy more tickets to things. “How come nobody’s coming to our sporting event?” Because I can buy a bottle of top shelf liquor, the best steak at the butcher, watch the thing on TV and still come out ahead on the amount of money I spend. Hmm … let me think about that for a microsecond.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to stink. Change it up. You can do it!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.