Do Better

Dear Diary …

Not good enough!

We have so many great things in this world … and for that I’m happy. But there are certain things, we’re just slackin’. We need to do better.

This is ‘Murica … we’re awesome! We need to fix these things. And you know what? They’re global issues anyway, so even if we’re not smart enough to fix ‘em, we can at least mooch of some Japanese technology or whatever to git r done.

For example … at this point in our technological advances, the DVR should NEVER cut off the end of a show you’re recording. Unacceptable!

Over the weekend … lots of people excited about the return of the TV show “The X-Files.” Now I never got into that show, but that doesn’t matter, lot of people did. So they’re excited. They set their DVR … only to find out Monday morning that they have 20 minutes of football post-game blah blah blah … and then no end of the X-Files.

By the way … post game analysis of any sport is the dumbest waste of TV space on Earth.

“Hey you just watched the whole game, now let’s play it back again and tell you things you already know.” Total waste.

Regardless, the TV should know that football ran late and should automatically adjust to make sure you don’t miss the next show. There is NO way that that’s that hard of a technology to implement.

There’s nothing worse than sitting down to watch a show on your DVR, being all excited, only to see … “Hey uhh … wait a minute … this isn’t my show. This is the President talking. Oh man!”

Unacceptable. Do better!

Here’s another one … making you fast for 8 hours with no food or drink before going to the doctor. Why? And you know what? Don’t tell me why. I don’t what your medical nerd answer. I just want it fixed.

I had to do this recently to get a cholesterol check-up, cuz mine was a little high. So I gotta go thru an entire workday with no food or drink before the test … like we can’t differentiate between blood drawn from a person who had a bowl of cereal in the morning vs. blood from someone who didn’t.

And here’s the kicker … Here I am … Having to lower my cholesterol. So you know eat better and exercise and all that garbage. And what do I do right after the test? Eat a gigantic cheeseburger because I’m starvin’ to death. This is counter-productive to the whole goal of lowering cholesterol anyway! Do better!

Or what about ice makers … yeah … Ice makers! OK sure … things like “clean drinking water” … they’re priority #1. But now that I got that, and I got a fancy ice maker, why must it be so inconsistent with its output of ice?

Ice cube tray totally full … nothing blocking the tubes … and sometimes I just gotta sit there … like a dummy … CLNNNG CLNNNG CLNNNNG CLNNNNG … CLINK … One cube. CLNNNG … CLNNNG … CLNNNNG

Then, of course, the next time I go and I touch anything it’s like the Niagara Falls of ice cubes cascading out of chute, over the glass, onto the floor. Smashing everywhere in the process.

There is no reason for this to happen! We are smarter than this, and all of these things are easily fixable. We’re just being lazy about not doing it. Like when I go to the ATM and it says … “Please Wait While We Load Your Settings” … and then the first thing it asks me every time right after that is, “What language would you like to use?”

Shouldn’t that be part of the settings? Shouldn’t that be the ONLY setting? What other setting are there on an ATM anyway?

Do better!

That’s it. I got nothing else. Do better. And I know I’m not doing it because I’m not smart enough, but some nerd is. Fix it … now!

Till next time Diary, I say goodbye.