Ice Ice Baby

Dear Diary …

People are dumb. Harsh … I know, but also fairly accurate. Understand though … I don’t say this as an insult (and if you do think it’s an insult … wellllll … you might wanna take stock in your life).

Anyway … my point is that when you come in with this assumption that people are dumb, things are actually BETTER. This is because when you expect everyone to be a big dodo, and somebody does something smart, well now you are pleasantly surprised by the situation and feel really good about mankind. Meanwhile … if you assume people are smart … Well they’re gonna let you down ALL the time.

So I’m saying it’s OK to assume people are a little dumb. However … let’s not go overboard here. Specifically I’m looking at you … person who handles the traffic flow in a construction zone.

The other day I’m at one of these, and the dude’s in the road stopping traffic. OK … fine. So then he finishes and walks to the side of the road. OK … here we go … line starts to move.

And all of a sudden this dude just starts wavin’ his hand at all of us. Yes I know we can go now, you dummy. I kinda figured that out when you moved out of the road.

Or like when they have their little stop sign, and they flip it around to slow. That’s good enough! And they’re always wavin’ their hands like somehow you’re inconveniencing them by taking too long. The sign says “SLOW” ya dingbat … how fast do you expect me to make it through? Would you like me to run over your foot to truly show my sense of urgency???

We get it. It’s time for us to start driving again. If we can’t figure that out without your little hand wave, we should have our licenses taken away anyway!!!

OK … moving on Diary … doing some travelling last week, that of course means staying in many different locations, visiting people’s houses, etc. etc. And here’s what I’ve learned … too many people do not understand the importance of ice.

When you come to my house … there’s plenty of ice. Need a drink? There’s ice. Heck … wanna fill a cooler? There’s ice!

I guess I’m in the minority though, cuz I go to my one friend’s house … and the first kiss of death is that there’s no ice maker. Ahhh crap … we’re not gonna have enough ice.

But I tell myself … “Now Zachary, don’t be negative, they at least have a bunch of ice cube trays in their freezer.”

Yeah … TRAYS! But ice? Not so much!

One tray has like four cubes in it, and the rest … EMPTY!!!!!

What kind of human puts an empty ice cube tray back in the freezer?????

When I was a kid … and I am not making this up … we didn’t have an ice maker, but my Dad made darn sure we had ice cubes in the trays. If you took an ice cube and didn’t refill the hole … that was a 25 cent fine … per hole. I was 6 years old … that was like all my money in the world!!!

But you know what I did? I MADE ICE!!!!!! So if a 6 year old can do it … so can you!!!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.