Tiny Pieces of Plastic

Dear Diary …

Ultimately … we are all servants to one all-powerful ruler who controls all of us and everything we are able to do in life. It’s not a person. And not a spiritual being. It’s much smaller than that. And yet … despite it’s size, it has a power over virtually EVERY person on Earth. You are not in control … it is in control.

You see Diary … the entire world is run by tiny pieces of plastic.

I don’t care how big and strong and technologically advanced anything is that we use in this world … when it breaks … it breaks because it was held together by tiny pieces of plastic.

Every time something breaks on my car (and it’s an 18 year old car, so things break all the time). It’s not a giant piece of metal that breaks … it’s a tiny piece of plastic. I’ve replaced the door handle in my car four different times now. And the reason is the same every time … despite the fact that this door is 200 pound hunk of metal … there’s a tiny little nubbin’ of plastic that connects the handle to the actual door … and this tiny little nubbin’ breaks all the time. 3,000 pound car … totally held at the mercy of a 17 cent piece of plastic.

Recently my vacuum broke … and this is one of those schmancy ones with the big rotating ball on the bottom and the weird German guy in the commercials that tells you it’s the most sophisticated vacuum in the universe. Yeah … well … it broke. And I knew it! I was convinced it was some dumb little piece of plastic.

So I took that thing apart … and that’s exactly what I found … random tiny piece of plastic that had broken off. The entire vacuum held hostage by another evil little nubbin’. Fixed the piece of plastic … vacuum works fine. And here’s how dumb the plastic is … there was a piece of metal in that vacuum and I just took it out. Extra part! Vacuum still works fine. The metal doesn’t hold it back. The plastic does.

We are so dumb. We build these big, fancy, expensive things … and then we have them held together by tiny, fragile, flimsy little things. Stupid pieces of plastic. And we don’t do anything about it … we keep letting it happen. We’re not in charge … the plastic is in charge!

OK … moving on Diary … Here’s another reality we’ve all been denying … bananas suck.

And yet … they’re like the most popular food in the world. Why?

You buy bananas and they’re fine in your house for about a day and then they become fruit fly paradise once they insta-rot on your counter. One day … fine. Next morning … brown, mushy, and terrible.

And furthermore … lets be honest … I think we’re all trying to convince ourselves that we actually enjoy the taste and mealiness of a banana. I get like “instant stomach ache” when I eat one, and the consistency can best be described as “mushy chalkiness.” Not appealing!

Put ‘em in a fruit salad … they instantly make that fruit salad worse. And banana flavored things? No thank you.

And the banana split … what is by far the worst ingredient of the banana split? The banana! Ice cream, hot fudge, nuts … all tasty things … Sandwiched together by one useless piece of fruit that’s just there so we can lie to ourselves and claim there was something healthy in the bowl.

“Oh but htey’re so cheap. That’s why we get ’em.”

Well guess what? They’re cheap for a reason … they’re lousy.

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.