Dear Diary …
Hello there! Allow me to introduce you right now to a brand new wing of the Anger Diary World … it’s called “Uncle Zack’s House of Truth Bombs.”
And yes … I understand that in many ways all of Anger Diary World could be considered Uncle Zack’s House of Truth Bombs, but all these movie franchises get away with having “The Marvel Universe” so they can make billions and billions of dollars off the same concept. So I’m gonna do the same thing.
Which, in fact, brings me to the first Truth Bomb. Marvel movies are not that good.
And I know what you’re about to say …
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Why you say such poop mouth things??? Poop mouth!!!”
Look … let me be clear … the Marvel Universe is ingenious. It is a multi-billion dollar empire. More successful and better executed than anything I could ever even dream of doing in my own life.
But deep down at the core … they ain’t that good.
Yeah they got big names … and cool special effects … and lots of action … but the movies are … actually just put it this way … “the movie” is a big bowl of fine.
And I say “the movie,” because there’s really only one that’s been repackaged 27 million times.
I mean let me describe a particular Marvel movie to you and see if you can guess which one it is. Ok here we go … there’s this guy. Kinda just hasn’t found his place in life yet, when all of a sudden something happens and he realizes that he now has some kind of superpower.
Meanwhile, there’s this other guy. He’s kinda like the first guy, except he’s BAD. Something happened to him wayyyy back in the day and now he’s really mad about it and he’s gonna take it out on humanity to teach them a lesson that this is what happens when you mess with ME!
And there’s only one person that can stop him. The first guy. The good guy. But he’s not sure if he wants to get involved.
Meanwhile … there’s this really special person to the good guy. Maybe a girl. Maybe his Mom. Maybe his Uncle who helped raise him like he was his own.
Well the bad guy kills that person. So now the good guy gets all mad too. Rises up and saves the world from the bad guy.
OK … which Marvel movie did I just describe?
ALL OF THEM.
And yes … sometimes they’re slightly different or it’s like Avengers movie and they just throw 27 good guys fighting 27 bad guys and you don’t even know which end is up with all these people flying all over the place for 3 and a half hours … but deep down … it’s still “the movie.”
Again … it’s OK to like it. I like Doritos. They aren’t good for you on any level. But for empty enjoyment … they delicious.
So just sit back and eat your Doritos. And the sequel to the Doritos. And the trilogy to the Doritos. And the reboot of the Doritos. And the original story. And … Oh you get the point.
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.