Dear Diary …
I am here to definitively answer the following question … Who’s the dumbest person in the world?
And believe it or not, even with billions of people on this earth, there actually is one correct answer to this question.
So … who’s the dumbest person in the world?
You.
Yup. You.
If you have kids … there is no bigger idiot in the world than you … their parent.
I have no doubt that even Albert Einstein … smartest guy … like … ever … little Hans Einstein was probably, “I already know that!”
I can tell my kid something … straight up factual … won’t believe me. But if Mr. Squeaky on Tik Tok says it … “oh man did you hear what Mr. Squeaky said? He’s so smart!” I already said that!
And it’s not that every other kid thinks you’re the dumbest person in the world. Just your kid. I coach baseball. So let me give you a little multiple choice pop quiz … Here we go …
Three kids … No names … so see if you can identify my kid …
Kid A … “Hey I need to you to make this change in your swing so you can hit the ball better.” OK coach … you got it!
Kid B … “Hey I need to you to make this change in your swing so you can hit the ball better.” Yes sir … thank you sir!
Kid C … “Hey I need to you to make this change in your swing so you can hit the ball better.” … I’m doing it already!
Well I’m glad we could have these special times together on the baseball field.
Hey you know what else is dumb … Why do we unplug the toaster?
I mean I know WHY we say we do it … “Oh I wanna be safe … don’t want the house to burn down.”
And that’s great in theory, except for the fact that we leave EVERY OTHER THING IN THE HOUSE PLUGGED IN AT ALL TIMES!
None of those things seem to bother us, but somehow we treat the toaster like it’s an old unexploded land mine from World War 2.
Ooooof … OK … that’s unplugged. We’re safe now!
I mean that’s probably why our kids think we’re stupid, cuz they see us do stupid stuff like that.
Till next time Diary … I say … goodbye.