You Don’t Get To Be Bad At Stuff

Dear Diary …

That’s it. No more excuses. No more explanations. You are no longer allowed to be bad at things just for the sake of getting out of having to do them. That lazy ship has sloooowly sailed away my friend!

Now don’t get me wrong … not everybody can be good at everything. I stink at basketball. And no matter how many times my Mommy tells me that I can “accomplish anything if I set my mind to it,” I ain’t playin’ basketball in the NBA. Not happenin’.

That’s not what I’m talking about here. Because I don’t NEED to be good at basketball for basic life functions. I’m talking about people that pull garbage excuses like, “Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner … I’m just bad at texting.” No!! I’M sorry … but THAT is not a valid excuse for present day life. People text. So you gotta text too.

I mean … what … you gonna try to tell me that you aren’t smart enough to reply to text messages? I hope not. Because if that’s the case, you probably shouldn’t even be allowed to drive a car or be in charge of pretty much anything. Of course you’re smart enough to do it … you just don’t wanna.

You wanna be able to use it as an excuse to get out of work responsibilities, or when somebody in your life asks you for something, or whatever. It’s the same as when somebody says “I’m bad at laundry.” You’re not bad at laundry. You just hate laundry and you want somebody else to do it.

“Oh sorry … I’m just bad at responding to emails.”

No! You don’t get to be bad! … That’s not a choice!!

So suck it up … put your big boy pants on … and start living like the rest of us. Cuz you know darn well, when YOU need us, you get your response right away, so this is a two way street here sucka!

OK … moving on Diary … I took a road trip this past weekend. So you know what that means … plenty of Anger Diary material from terrible drivers.

So many people are just AWFUL at driving. Remind me again why we don’t all just have driverless robot cars? “Oh but one of those crashed and the guy died.” One. ONE! I watched enough idiot moves this weekend to potentially kill a dozen people from their sheer stupidity.

So let me at least make an attempt at a quick driving lesson … Class … today we’re gonna talk about the turn signal on your car. Now first … I’m very happy that you have chosen to use it when you’re on the highway and you’ve decided that you want to be in the other lane.

But just because you turned it on, that doesn’t give you the instant and automatic right to just jam your car into that other lane. Think of it more like a request … like … “Hey … um … I’d be interested in getting in this passing lane when there’s room if you could/ That’d be great.”

Now … “I will turn this blinker on for one millisecond and that gives me the right to plow into the other lane! Thy must moveth for me!!!!!!”

I watched a truck do that. Darn near ran the car in front of me right of the road. And yes … I know regular cars do that same stupid move too, but they don’t have 18 wheels and a cargo hold of things that can blow up, so I’d REALLY rather this guy not do it either.

Yes … I understand. You wanna pass too. But you wait … for an actual space where your car can fit. Preferably behind ME.

Till next time Diary .. I say … Goodbye.