The Mysterious Light Bulb

Dear Diary …

We all have different hobbies, tastes, and interests. That’s pretty obvious, right? So then why in the world do so many people feel the need to open their mouths about things that they aren’t personally into?

“Never seen an episode of Game of Thrones in my whole life. Don’t care to either.”


Oh I’m sorry … I just assumed you were expecting some sort of standing ovation for your impressive declaration of awesomeness.

Last time I checked, “Game of Thrones” didn’t have 260 million people watching it every week, so clearly there are humans in this country that aren’t tuning in to it or “This Is Us,” or “Walking Dead,” or whatever the heck it is.

You don’t watch something? Big freakin’ whoop. But don’t be posting about it like you’re some kind of TV martyr that’s better than the people that do. Something tells me you aren’t reading the encyclopedia during that hour of free time in your life or figuring out how to bring on world peace, so just shut your snackhole and let these people enjoy the things they enjoy.

And while I’m at it … If I post a story about a celebrity, there’s no need for you to reply “I have no idea who that is.” Well congratulations to you, Lord Uninformed. Oh and just in case you were wondering, there IS this thing called “Google” if you wanna find out who the person is.

Moving on Diary … What kind of alien lived in your house before you did? I ask this, because there always seems to be the most bizarre, other-worldy decisions that were made. For example … when you go down to the electrical panel in a house, that thing is NEVER labeled correctly. “Living room” is never the living room, “master bedroom” is a light bulb in the garage, and so on and so on. Not to mention the four or five random unlabeled breakers that are seemingly attached to nonexistent parts of your house. Who labels these things?

And then there’s there’s the products and the fixtures … In my last house the light bulb went out over the oven, so I went to the store to buy a new one. Guess what … of the 247,000 lights bulbs they have at the store … not a single one was the one that fit my oven. It wasn’t even on the internet! THE INTERNET!!!! The place where I can by 20 year old jugs of Crystal Pepsi or a statue of a cat drinking a margarita … but no light bulb replacement for this oven.

Where did they buy this oven … Yugoslavia? How is this even possible?

And yet this seems to happen every time you need a refrigerator filter, or washing machine part, or whatever … your model is magically the model that has weird shaped everything and doesn’t work with anything offered at the store. How did we even make these things in the first place, and why are they always in my house???

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.