Kid Versions of Everything

Dear Diary …

Look … I like kids.

OK wait … I don’t really like kids.

Look … I like MY kids.

OK wait … Sometimes I don’t really like my kids either.

But seriously … kids aren’t that bad.  They got the innocence of youth, they have a fun spirit, they’re more enjoyable than most adults.  That part is definitely true.

That said … I absolutely cannot stand that every show on television is being ruined by children.  Specifically … kid versions of everything.

Dancing With the Stars Junior, Chopped Junior, Master Chef Junior, Kids BBQ Championship, Kids Baking Championship … blah blah blah.  The list goes on for way too long.

Especially with the cooking shows.

Now Diary … you know me … I’m a foodie.  OK I’m actually a grade-A food snob, but the point is … I love food and chefs and cooking shows and things like that.  But I want to watch great chefs making great food, not an 11 year old trying to make a dang casserole.

There’s a reason why 11 year olds don’t run restaurants … they’re food ain’t good enough!

So why do I wanna sit there and watch a bunch of booger eaters make mediocre food???

About the only thing I do enjoy is getting to watch the hypocrite judges taste the food.  Cuz here we have a bunch of snooty chefs, that when they’re on a regular version of the show, they sit there and they nitpick the entire dish … “Oh your meal was spectacular, buuuuut you left off ONE fleck of salt so, yeah, we’re gonna have to go ahead and send you home.”

Karma gets ‘em on the kid versions, cuz they can’t be mean and make all the kids cry, cuz then they look like jerks and they wouldn’t get another job on TV to save their lives.  So now they gotta eat an overcooked piece of steak that’s tougher than shoe leather and they go “Mmmm … your flavor ideas were sooo creative to try to put cake frosting on this!”

BAHAHAHA!!!  Take that sucka!

Kids … you can be anything you want when you grow up.  OK … that’s not true either but that’s what people say.

The point is … you can be whatever it is you’re gonna be … LATER … I don’t wanna watch you fumble thru it now.

Till next time Diary, I say, goodbye.